Penn Group

  At last! A week of remarkably bad behavior in the book world - bad behavior not entirely confined to J.K. Rowling! This gladdens our headline-hunting little hearts. Below, the best of the bunch.

- The LA Times reports that con artists are calling up bookstores and pretending to be the authors they’ve booked for signings - shortly before hitting them up for cash. Authors impersonated thus far have included Mark Sarvas, Nick Hornby, and Eric Gower. Of course, stealing is wrong. That said, if Nick Hornby called us up and asked for a quick loan, we would not be at all suspicious - or surprised.

 - Legendarily pompous novelist Jonathan Franzen called critic Michiko Kakutani the “stupidest person in New York” after his tales of narcissistic, wounded boy-men failed to win her over. Of his new memoir, she wrote that “the author’s self-involvement not only makes for an incredibly annoying portrait, but also funnels the narrative into a dismayingly narrow channel.” Burn! Franzen, of course, is enraged that Kakutani didn’t recognize him for the special little snowflake that he is - and requests that, in the future, all reviews be written by his mommy.

 - Norman Mailer is dead. You knew that. What you may not know is that his mistress, Carole Mallory, has written a memoir about their time together, which includes a twenty page sex scene. In an interview with the Harvard Crimson, she reveals more details, including the fact that he liked to talk during sex and that watching him read her work was “very erotic and stimulating.”

Why is this a problem? Well, look at the picture at the top of the post, because THAT is what she’s writing about. The involuntary mental images triggered by her work will necessitate years of therapy.

- Young author Miley Cyrus had her picture taken. Apparently this was a big deal? We don’t know. We’re too busy digging up gossip about Michiko Kakutani.